


Drug Bust

by laZardo, Ticker



Series: Detective Eridan [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Detective!Eridan, Drugs, trollcops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-04 09:58:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laZardo/pseuds/laZardo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ticker/pseuds/Ticker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Eridan accidently goes on a bender with a new drug and wakes up to find himself partially mutated into the form of his lusus, him and his partner, Callie Opheee, are on a race against time. Dodging the police who want to convict Eridan of the death of three small-time criminals and making alliances with dangerous mobsters, Eridan and his partner must track down the people heading the mysterious drug ring in a desperate attempt to reverse Eridan's mutation and clear his name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Darkness.

 

Simple and sweet.

 

Pounding.

 

Slow and distant at first, but rapidly growing, splitting your head as it grips you.

 

Silence.

 

Suddenly there’s a crack, a shattering of wood.

 

You open your eyes.

 

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you feel like shit. Yesterday, at least you think it was yesterday, you were kissed by a strange man, claiming that it was a new drug called Valkyr. After that… The world in general just kind of fuzzed out. You remember a lot of bright flashes and laughing though. In fact, you’re still kinda chuckling as the person who broke down your door steps into the room and shrieks.

You grit your teeth. The scream is piercing to you. “Please shut up for a minute.” You say, though it comes out kind of muffled. The screaming stops, being replaced by some ragged breathing. “A-Are you _alright_ Eridan?”

Ah. Callie. Detective Callie Ohpeee.

“M’fin…” You say groggily, waving your hand at her in annoyance. Your lusus-white hand. _WHAT?_ Suddenly, you understand why Callie had screamed as you let out a loud yell yourself.

 

***

 

Almost an hour and a cup of coffee so thick it could be mistaken for black cement later, you’re both sitting on the couch as you talk about the drug that you had taken, though in your story it was forced on you. No need to lower Callie’s opinion of you even more. After your explanation, there’s a dead silence, with you looking at your cup of coffee in misery and Callie looking at everything but you. Not that you can blame her.

Everyone knew that a lusus was genetically matched to the troll they cared for. There were even some cases were a lusus would give their troll charges a transfusion of their blood if they had gotten into a bad fight. But this was _disgusting_. Something happened when you were coming off of the drug. Something that changed you. Mutated you. Now you appeared as some freakish conglomerate of you and your lusus.

You’ve spent most of that last hour trying to wrap your head around your figure, splayed mostly nude across this old couch apart from whatever remaining shreds of clothing conveniently hide your shame.

You maintained most of your original shape, but there were glaring differences now. For one, your skin. Where it had been the light ashy grey of the somewhat malnourished troll you were, it was now pure white. You had a fin growing out of your head, also white but with a bit of violate coloring at the very end, reminiscent of the violet streak that had decorated your hair before.

That fin ran all the way down your spine and ended about halfway down your tail – which now replaced your legs. It was curled, like a seahorse’s, which made it 5 different kinds of uncomfortable to sit down. And your nose, slightly squashed and bent from being broken one too many times, was now a partially elongated snout that made it hard to drink that coffee.

And if only that was the least of your problems.

You had killed, _killed,_ three people in your drug-induced romp, and then bragged to Terezi about it. And it wasn’t even that they were big-time criminals who’d have deserved it anyway.

Caprol Pental. Blueblood. Just a bit higher up the run than Eq. Him… You could actually off him and not feel any guilt. The man was a pusher for every dangerous drug there was and was also embezzling from the company that he worked for, though nothing could be proven. Also guilty of sedition, though he only spoke in human and human/troll areas were free speech was tolerated. Mostly.

Satina Hutena. Tealblood. Lower than Terezi. She was a criminal sure, but only a small-time thug. Hired muscle for some unimportant gang. Hell, you had investigated her personally as part of an extortion ring. She had been found guilty, but flipped on her bosses in exchange for going free. She also bribed the judge but that was still nothing. Had kept her nose mostly clean ever since.

Mostly.

And then there was that mustardblood, though he could hardly be called that. He was very nearly an oliveblood, just the slightest tint of yellow to be honest. His crimes were nothing. A bit of graffiti, a bit of a dependency on the mind honey, no big deal. He was a junkie. His biggest crime was that he had rerouted some circuits from a power line to power his home for free. What haunted you about him though were his eyes as the psionics faded from them. Yellow and blue. Just like Sollux’s. You shudder and pull away from the memories.

While you could get away with Pental, you were still guilty of murdering two (mostly) innocent civilians. And now not only were you a mutant freak, but the very police force you worked for was hounding you. Your only bit of luck was that this was your backup apartment, the other hideout you kept after the Midnight Crew discovered your little “undercover” operation and pried it open with their Red Miles. No one on the police force except for you and Callie knew of its location at any given time.

“What do you think we should do Eridan?” Callie asks softly. You sigh as you look up from your coffee and stare Callie in her lime-green eyes. She was a hell of a partner, apparently willing to stick with your worthless ass despite all of this – and despite being a limeblood.

“Wwell, first off I’m going to let you knoww right now that if you wwanna side wwith the cops on this, I’m fine wwith that,” you begin. You know that she’s not going to go with that before you’re even halfway through the sentence. This encourages you. Her response, rather rude for her normally cheerful self, even gets you to smile. “Alright then, here’s the plan. Wwhatever I did, I did on this neww drug called Zillium. Unfortunately, I can’t provve this drug’s existence.”

 

“Why not?” Callie interrupts you, though the question is one that holds relevance.

 

“The drug is shared mouth-to-mouth.” you explain, kinda lamely. “I don’t knoww howw but the point remains that it is. If I’m to provve this drug’s existence, I’m going to need a person already infected by it. I figure that the best wway to do this is right at the source. I’m going to track dowwn the headquarters of this drug ring and bring them dowwn. And maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll find somefin that’ll get me turned back to normal.”

 

Callie ponders your words for a moment before glancing at your badge, laying discarded on the nearby coffee table. “What about the force?”

 

“Wwhen I find the ring I’m going to need you to call it in. Say that you tracked me dowwn or wwhatevver you need to get either Sollux or Terezi dowwn there.”

 

“But sir, what if you don’t find any samples of the drug that caused you to flip out?”

 

You stay silent for a moment before locking eyes with Callie. “I joined the force to do this corrupt city some good. These people are pushing a dangerous drug. Maybe evven a bunch of them. If I can stop them, or evven just sloww them dowwn a bit, I’ll be doing this city a favvor.”

 

That said, you get up and float over to a corner of the living room. You’re surprised how smoothly the trip is, as if you’d been a skyhorse for your entire tormented existence.

A long trenchcoat and wide-brimmed hat lay crumpled in a pile. Leftovers from the last time you had paid the place a visit. You put on the hat and coat, concealing your features. Beckoning for Callie to follow you, you suddenly stop at the doorway as something important nags at your mind. Digging into your pockets, you uncover a pack of cigarettes with a single unlit cylinder and a working lighter. You almost moan in bliss as you light up the cigarette and inhale a lungful of nicotine.

“Right, drug ring to bust and people to savve. C’mon Callie. Time wwaits for no troll.” With that said, you float out of the apartment, exit the building, and begin your search on the streets for a lead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting takes place and Eridan makes an unfortunate ally.

Your name is Eridan Ampora, and you’re about to do something you’ll regret.

 

You had hit the streets hours before with your partner Callie, intent on finding a lead on the Zillium dealers. You had hit up all of the dealers, addicts, and even some of the strippers you knew from your undercover days.

No leads, no clues, nada. The only thing you accomplished was getting a series of looks from your partner at the… _variety_ of people you knew. And now you were sitting in the shadowy corner of a café, both to hide yourself from inquisitive looks and to meet with a certain someone.

“OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY YOU BULGEMUNCHERS! I GOT AN IMPORTANT FUCKING MEETING TO GET TO AND I’LL BE DAMNED IF ANY OF YOU ASSHOLES MAKE ME LATE!”

You sigh and rub your ridged forehead as that loud voice hits your ears. Karkat Vantas, the (alleged) son of notorious (alleged) mob boss Spades Slick and currently one of the (alleged) operatives of the crime kingpin only known as Mr. Pupa. You curse whatever fates made it necessary to consort with a mutant. The only bright spot is that you had managed to convince Callie to wait for you back at your safehouse.

 

Finally spotting you, Karkat makes his way over to your table and plops down on the chair opposite you. “SO HOW DO THE FATES DECIDE TO CURSE ME WITH MEETING YOUR HORRIFICLY UNDERCOVER NOOK OUT HERE IN THIS AMAZINGLY CLICHED CORNER OF SHITFUCKING BROAD DAYLIGHT?” Karkat asked in his usual overly loud voice.

 

“I need your help.” You say, your voice wavering a bit. “The neww drug on the market. Zillium. I need to bust that ring and fast.”

 

Karkat gives you an odd look and begins looking over you, taking in your appearance and noting your hidden features. Finally, Karkat did something you’d never thought you’d see him do. He spoke quietly. “YOU TRANSFORMED, DIDN’T YOU?”

 

You only stare at Karkat in shock, not all that surprised that he noticed but surprised by the tone in his voice. Like he knew something about it. “Wwhat do you knoww?” You ask, disbelief and just a bit of hope coloring your voice as you finally might get a lead.

 

“NOT ALL THAT MUCH.” Karkat said, reverting back to his usual overly loud volume. “I’VE MET A FEW TROLLS WHO MADE THE SAME STUPID LIFE CHOICE YOU DID. ALL I KNOW FOR CERTAIN IS THAT NEITHER SLICK NOR PUPA ARE IN ON THIS RACKET.”

“Is that it?” You ask, disappointment plain in your voice as you feel your only lead slipping away.

Karkat considers you for a moment, a look of contemplation on his face before he sighs and glances to the side.

“NO, THAT’S NOT IT.” Karkat said. “I KNOW SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU A LEAD. BUT YOU WON’T LIKE IT.

“Trust me Kar, at this moment I’m wwilling to except any help I can get.” You say, leaning forward in excitement.

Karkat sighs before looking you in the eyes. “GAMZEE. THE FUCKING DRUGGED-OUT MURDERCLOWN. IF HE HASN’T ALREADY TRIED IT THEN HE’LL AT LEAST KNOW WHERE TO GET SOME.”

You pale, quite a feat considering your already chalk-white skin. “Gamz? Kar, are you serious? The fuckin’ subjugglator almost culled me ovver’a bad joke!”

“THE FUCKER’S UNPREDICTABLE BUT IF ANYBODY HAS A THINKPAN THAT CONTAINS ANY SORT OF KNOWLEDGE ON ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCES, IT’S HIM.” Karkat growled, clearly not happy about his moirail’s drug habits. Karkat dug through his pockets before getting out a small flask and sliding it across the table to you. “HERE. BAKED SOPOR. SHITHEAD CAN’T RESIST IT AND IT’LL MELLOW HIM OUT IF HE TRIES TO ATTACK YOU.”

 

You stare at the flask before picking it up and sticking it into your coat’s pocket. “I’m desperate Kar,” you sigh. “Desperate enough to risk wworking wwith that maniac. Set up a meeting. I’ll pay wwhatevver price I have to.”

Karkat groans as he gets up to leave. “WHOEVER’S RUNNING THIS RACKET IS EATING INTO PUPA’S PROFITS LIKE IT’S THE GALACTIC EAT-A-THON. TAKE THEM OUT AND WE’LL BE SQUARED OUT.”

Karkat walks over to the door and leaves. You get up to go after him, having never set the meeting place before you notice a napkin with a messy scrawl of writing on it. _Wwhen’d he wwrite that?_ You wonder silently, picking up the note.

 

_CARNIVAL’S IN TOWN_

_MEET AT THE BIG TOP AT 8:00_

_…BRING PIE_

 

You stare at the note for a moment before putting it in your pocket with the flask. You wonder for a moment why Karkat wanted you to bring some pie before you shrug and float out of the café, a metaphorical spring in your hover as you’ve finally gotten a lead.

 

***

 

You arrive at the big top early. You grumble as you pick your way through the crowd, being careful not to drop the still-hot cherry pie you had bought on the way to your meeting. You take a seat near the front of the ring, waiting for Karkat and Gamzee to show up.

“Hey motherfucker… You think I could GET A MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF THAT PIE?”

You freeze as you here that voice, one second calm and whimsical and the next spoken in a tone that bespoke murder and violence in its purest form. The pie is quickly snatched out of your hands as a piece is quickly scooped up and eaten. Bits of pie crust and cherry filling fly through the air as you turn and face Gamzee.

The clown is too busy eating pie to notice you, giving you time to look him over. Gamzee was as tall as ever, in fact, it’s as if he’s grown seven feet tall. The lankiness of adolescence had given way to a muscular bulkiness more in line with his freakish strength. His facepaint, freshly applied, shone in the light and his teeth flashed in jagged rows as he continued eating.

 

You sat still, making sure you didn’t interrupt Gamzee as you mentally shouted for Karkat to hurry up and appear so that you wouldn’t have to deal with the insane highblood alone.

 

“I see your eyes darting around my motherfucking seabro. WHAT YOU ALL UP AND SEARCHING FOR?” You stiffen as you see Gamzee staring at you, his eyes tinted a permanent slight orange due to his highblood rage.

 

“J-Just wwondering wwhere Karkat wwas. He wwas supposed to meet wwith us.” You say, stammering slightly at the slight mental pressure Gamzee was pouring at you, intentional or unintentional was anyone’s guess.

 

“Karkat? MOTHERFUCKING KARBRO?!?” Gamzee began laughing, a wild honking laugh that filled the tent. Everyone who noticed pretended not to, not wanting to be the one to incur Gamzee’s wrath. Gamzee wasn’t a mob boss, but in the carnival his word was almost law. And anything and everything he did went unnoticed by those who wished to continue living.

 

This unwritten law wasn’t going through your mind as Gamzee laughed. What was flashing through your eyes was your life as you waited for the laughing to stop.

 

“Karkat’s not here seabro. HE WAS ALL UP AND MOTHERFUCKING DETAINED. You know his old matesprit right? THE MOTHERFUCKING BLIND SIS?!? Someone went and blabbed. SAID HE WAS SEEN WITH A MURDER SUSPECT! He got a message to me though. TOLD ME TO ALL UP AND COOPERATE WITH YOU! So it’s just you and me bro. BOTH OF US TAKING ON THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD!”

“…Fuck me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My co-writer hasn't looked this over yet so if you find it reading funny it's all on me.
> 
> -Ticker
> 
> EDIT:
> 
> It took awhile since I lost my internet but we finally have the edited version of this chapter. Next chapter will hopefully be soon!
> 
> -Ticker

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing these for the guy who runs the Detective Eridan askblog. (http://ask-de.tumblr.com/) Check it out whenever you can! Also, I've kept Eridan's accent but left out most of his fishpuns. Supposed to indicate that he's serious in his role.


End file.
